Cease and Desist
by Chicago Brown
Summary: Neville has a little accident while making a potion. A challenge fic which got a bit silly.


A.N Inspired by a challenge over at HOBFF.

Cease and Desist.

There are certain things in life that can really spoil a fourteen year old boy's day. His grandmother discovering an embarrassing magazine under his bed whilst 'tidying'. A bottle of ink mysteriously exploding in his trouser pocket. The girl he has a crush on discovering his love poems. For Neville Longbottom, any one of these would have easily topped the list and, unfortunately, already had. Yet there was one particular occurrence that Neville had never considered, and consequently had not prepared for.

His mattress was eating people.

Well, he corrected himself wearily, observing the chaos from behind an upturned desk, not exactly _eating_, more… storing. At any rate, the now colossal spring-filled structure had various arms and legs sticking out of it, flailing about wildly while their terrified owners emitted muffled squeaks from it's core. It had occurred to Neville that he really shouldn't be as calm as he was, he should have been panicking like the first and second years that hid behind him (recognising, if not one who could protect them, one who was at least older and therefore cannon fodder). The reason he wasn't had nothing to do with bravery, he would have freely admitted that to anyone who cared to ask, it was all down to simple experience.

Stuff like this was always happening to him.

It had started in Potions, where, not for the first time, Neville's effort had neglected it's desired effect in favour of melting his cauldron. As Snape had been in a practically jolly mood that morning, he had escaped a mere fifty house points lighter and with his next Hogsmeade visit cancelled. And so, that morning, while his friends gorged themselves on butterbeer and chocolate frogs, Neville had resolved to try again, and learn how make at least _one_ potion work. In theory, it was quite simple; an animation draft, the key component in self-writing quills and wizard chess pieces, made from dragonfly wings, powdered cockatrice egg and bubbica juice. When made properly, and applied in very small doses, it should cause inanimate objects to come alive for an unspecified amount of time.

That was what it said in the book.

Now Neville thought about it, he really should have paid more attention to the 'unspecified' part. Indeed, he shouldn't have made the draft in his dorm room. Or assumed he'd need a whole beaker full. Or balanced said beaker on top of his bed. Or let Trevor escape. The offending amphibian now snored peacefully in Neville's pocket, unaware and uncaring of the destruction he had caused, untroubled by the disturbing sounds that were reverberating around the room. The great, hulking mattress beast, now twice it's original size and stuffed with hysterical twelve year olds, stood amidst a battlefield of broken furniture in the middle of the common room, thrashing it's top corners about like arms and making loud _wharp wharp _noises. Neville and the gaggle of first and second years ducked as it sent another cupboard in their direction, and he riffled through his Charms book for the 'Cease and Desist' spell Flitwick had taught them the other day. Hermione had mastered it within five minutes of course- he really, really wished she were there. And Ron. And Harry. Hermione would know exactly what spell to use, as well as couple to clean up the mess and modify everyone's memories, Ron would probably wrestle it to the floor and Harry would most likely do a combination of the two. And what would Neville do? He grumbled to himself, Neville would hide behind a broken table trying to remember how to pronounce 'subsistoliumi' and wondering where the bloody grown-ups are.

There was a growl, a hiss and a _humlpf _sound and Neville looked up to see the bushy, ginger remains of Crookshanks' tail waving angrily at him from near the bottom of mattress monster. Oh well, he thought, it's now or never. He grabbed a discarded book and threw to the left of beast to distract it, leapt up quickly pointing his wand squarely at it's middle and screamed "SUBSISTOLUMMUN- OH BLOODY HELL!" He ducked down again as the enraged monster threw another bookcase at them, splinters exploding all around. He took a few deep gasps of air and mumbled the words under his breath, trying to get his tongue around the letters and endeavouring to ignore the mutinous glares the younger Gryffindors behind him. Neville closed his eyes, opened them and closed them again. He had to fix this, now. It was a wonder the kids inside the mattress hadn't suffocated yet. He had to get them out. Dumbledore, Neville thought with certainty, what would Dumbledore do? With that, he stood up, carefully, slowly and faced the thing head on. The monster let out a guttural scream and started to stumble towards him as Neville raised his wand and spoke in a loud, clear voice. "Subsistoliumi Modonium." The mattress shuddered and was still, the only movement being caused by the wiggling limbs of the children inside.

Ah, he thought. He hadn't thought of this part, but of course the 'Cease and Desist' spell would be just that, wouldn't it? Neville racked his brain back a few weeks to a rather fun Charms lesson and smiled; this, at least, he wouldn't have a problem with. He turned to the slowly emerging crowd, "I'd get back behind there, if I were you." He looked back at the mattress, "Praemius", he said, and was knocked onto his back as it exploded, showering the common room with springs, feathers and pieces of cotton, leaving a rather tangled heap of Gryffindors in middle. There was a shocked silence, then excited cheers as the kids behind him ran forward to untangle their friends, laughing and talking about how their parents were not going to _believe _this.

Neville laid his head back and laughed as well. He had done it, nobody could take that away from him and nothing could spoil it. Not the fact that he was probably going to get detention for life. Not his lack of mattress. Not even the incredibly angry ginger tom that was even now making his way towards him.

Nothing.


End file.
